The Audible Silence Alarm

Well, here I am.

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End of newspaper ushers in new Dark Ages! PANIC!

A certain well-known quotation, widely attributed to Mark Twain, may actually have been said, rather, by none other than the abstract concept known as the News: “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” There has been a good deal… Continue Reading →

On Reality Television and the Mysterious Disappearance of the Author’s Faith in Humanity

Every morning, I wake up thinking, Boy, I can’t wait to get home so I can watch a large group of women of easy morals courting a man who is ignorant of everything outside his hot tub, or, I want… Continue Reading →

“What do you think is the biggest environmental threat facing us?”

Facing us? We are the biggest environmental threat. We are directly responsible for all the environmental damage. Let’s just take me for an example. Most of my life has been spent eating massive amounts of meat. Mistreatment and killing of… Continue Reading →

“What change do you wish to see in the world? How can you bring about that change?”

I’m certain this question is expecting an environmental answer, and while that’s up there, it’s not my first thought. The change I’d most like to see in the world is unlimited civil rights, such as absolute freedom of association, assembly,… Continue Reading →

“How can personal choice or behaviors influence air pollution?”

Nothing could affect anything – including air pollution – more than personal choice. At a personal level, every day, each person makes a relatively small impact on the environment, but combined, six and a half billion people make a much… Continue Reading →

Modern Public Bathrooms

Everything in a modern public bathroom is automated. I hate it. I hate automatic bathrooms. Just a few minutes ago, I went to the bathroom here at SLC (CLC’s Southlake Campus). I pushed the door a little and it finished… Continue Reading →

“How can you reduce your carbon footprint? After trying for a week, how did it go?”

I was easily able to come up with four simple ways to reduce my carbon footprint. First and foremost was to eat less meat, as this seems to be one of the largest contributing factors to one’s footprint. I also… Continue Reading →

Questioning Periods

This is an idea I had some time ago for an aspect of a conculture. What Years From birth until the fifth birthday, a baby asks about what things are, and what is happening. Interrogatives may include: what, when, whence,… Continue Reading →

Playing with Microsoft Word’s thesaurus

Winter is the fault of the orbit. Wintry weather be the responsibility of the flight path. Chilly weather conditions be alive the conscientiousness of the air travel passageway. Unpleasantly cold sit out state of affairs survive energetic the meticulousness of… Continue Reading →

An Introductory Letter to a Professor

Dear You-Already-Know-Your-Name-So-Why-Should-I-Write-It-Here,

I am sure it is clear by now that I am not in the least bit sarcastic. That being said, my academic background is extremely unique: I went to elementary school, middle school, and high school, just like everybody else. In fact, also just like everyone else, in high school, I majored in Stealth, Diplomacy, and Escape Artistry, with a specialization in Lying Convincingly to the Security Guards. I also minored in Penguin Psychology, and took a few classes in Some Gibberish Language with Lots of Funny Sounds and Stuff.

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